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Weaning onto solids

My curiosity was really piqued when baby-led weaning surfaced in one of my conversations with my husband's cousin sometime last year.

To tell me that baby knows what to eat, how much to eat, and is capable of self-feeding finger foods upon starting solids and whatever the family eats once they get used to mealtimes is pretty revolutionary in all things baby, at least in my point of view.

So came days of online reading while waiting for Rapley and Murkett's bestselling Baby-Led Weaning book to arrive, and reading blogger moms' experiences on BLW versus traditional/conventional weaning became my routine for a week or so. I was so keen on BLW and looked forward to feeding Ayden avocados, bananas, potato wedges and the like. And good grief I  hope hope he grows to be an adventurous eater!


Ayden and hummus go very well together.

The moment our pediatrician said to start with solids (Ayden was a few days into his sixth month), we did not really go the BLW route. The first time Ayden had his first taste of solids, we were out and I had my good bowl of vegetable porridge, to which I fed Ayden a spoonful or two. Needless to say, the high chair and the floor had some nutrition. When we started BLW, we had Ayden feed on a banana, to which he nibbled briefly and put down-- everything else was playtime. The same went with avocados.

I wasn't prepared for the mess clearly.  It didn't help that I felt the pressure to have Ayden eat since he had been off the growth curve for two months. In our minds, we thought Ayden is innately small (he was born at 2.685kg-- about the same size as I was as a newborn) and this whole growth chart thing is just some universal standard that Ayden just won't comply with because he's different (LOL).

BLW got harder to practice as we were about to travel. We bought organic purees, feeding spoons and bowls so it would be easier to feed him.

We pretty much paid the price for not complying with the one-food-for-three-days rule by the way. Our misadventure in Singapore at the end of last year began with a stolen phone by a dishonest Uber driver/passenger, and continued with Ayden's first ever allergy episode after feeding him mashed potato (something in the gravy?) and the organic puree (which had mango as one of the main ingredients-- rookie mistake?). For some reason I was oddly composed (or probably indifferent?) throughout, and made sure our son was not struggling to breathe throughout. His face was red, his eyes puffy, and he pretty much looked unrecognizable. Alhamdulillah after being seen by the doctor, he was cleared. Second allergy episode ensued after feeding him mashed banana and yogurt the day we arrived home after 9 days of travel. Same symptoms observed, antihistamines administered, and finally... I gave up. I had to accept my husband's view that perhaps... Ayden will not go the BLW route.

That awful feeling to accept defeat... Why isn't our son able to do what other babies could do?

I did the very same thing I resented my parents for doing-- comparing my kid to others.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is my gravest mistake as a parent so far.

*

As much as BLW is wonderful for busy parents and a good way to let your little ones explore tastes and textures, I have come to accept (however painfully) that BLW is not for every baby. Maybe I gave up too quick, maybe I wasn't trusting Ayden enough?

I read more articles on BLW and a few things stood out clear to me:

1) You CAN do BLW and spoonfeed your baby if you wish to! How enlightening is this! You as a parent know your kid better than everyone else does, so go for it if it works best for you. Annabel Karmel also vouches for the very same thing. There is a very good article written by a nutritionist based in New York where she wrote about her experience as a parent dealing with weaning onto solids... but for the life of me I cannot remember where it is.

2) Just because you do BLW and not conventional/traditional weaning does NOT mean that weaning method is superior than the other one you don't do. It simply means your baby is different-- it does NOT in any way indicate incompetency. I beat myself up over Ayden not being able to grasp BLW as well as I hoped-- look, kid just wants to be fed, period.

Also loves dates.

3) Plenty of the evidence, including the ones that became part of Rapley and Murkett's write-up, are anecdotal evidence. As a researcher, anecdotes are valid and credible, however to uphold them as scientific evidence is a long shot. Long before BLW caught on in the weaning discourse, pretty much most of us went down the puree/porridge route, I'm sure. Are we fussy eaters? Some of us are no doubt. We still manage to be adventurous in our palates, don't we? As for me, apart from minor allergies (my palate gets a bit itchy inside), I don't take seafood (crab, lobster, shellfish) because of the makruh status (plus they have a very distinct smell). That said, I miss eating chicken and eggs but baby with eczema needs to be taken care of.

After weeks into weaning, has he gained weight significantly? No.

After one false positive urine test, we decided to switch pediatricians and run another test... this time with blood sample.

Ayden needed the sun. And the very same week, we went to our very first Bandarku Ceria despite the ease of access all this time. Ayden loved bubbles and the sun. Bless.

As for me, that meant a 8.5km walk as a workout... which I completed with a near faint as soon as I got home.

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