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Why I write

I've always wondered about those of you who read this blog.. assuming the number of views my posts have raked up since this blog was published does not amount to bots, haha. If there's no response to gauge the so-called worth of this blog, then why the hell am I still writing?

First off, the "shocker": whether you like it or not, many of the experiences we go through as a mother tend to make us feel we are so isolated from other moms out there. The support we receive from mommy friends is important, and I'm forever thankful to each and every one who has been within reach for me when everything seems to be falling apart. I'm not kidding when I say that ScaryMommy is the only social media platform that I can relate to up till now. The sarcasm, the misadventures in motherhood... haha. Seriously though, as a full-time working mother, where caregiving for working moms falls at the merciful hands of daycare centers and/or unpaid caregivers in the form of in laws …
Recent posts

Miles apart

I was away for four days for work travel for the very first time as a mom last January.. and here I am finally having the luxury of time to blog about it.

In March #momlife

Need I say this was my first work travel after... two years of being in Track I?

9 months postpartum and we still don't have a helper at home. Imagine when my husband gave me the blessing to travel for work towards the end of last year-- I was pretty much shocked to the core. How can this man possibly let me off to travel for work when taking care of a baby takes almost all of your time? He reassured me that he could do it and he was fine.

To say it was difficult is an understatement indeed.

The whole four days apart were filled with so much tears. Mine, our son's...  There's no doubt that ugly tears were shed from an already sleep-deprived, ugly face. Yours truly shall confess to crying as the plane was about to take off, and pretty much almost every night before going to sleep #separationanxiety #boo…

fine, delicate (non)balancing act

Contrary to what everyone else sees or would like to believe, I have a well-functioning conscience. Today, it is cloaked in guilt and unease, marred by the knowledge that I have the convenience of being close to work yet I still stumble over several challenges in balancing motherhood and a career.

I'm not offering excuses or doing the whole woe-is-me nonsense. I'm not venting about how my life is worse than yours or anyone else's. I am just writing to voice out the frustration I've accumulated these past few months... ones that I have never really articulated so well, save for snippets of angst over silly Instastories which some have found humor in.. phew.

First of all, I am a full-time working mother in an organisation that prides itself on being the nation's defenders... or something along those lines. Occasionally, this job demands me to work over the weekends, monitoring the world's happenings... which by the way doesn't get clocked in. Let's not fo…

Weaning onto solids

My curiosity was really piqued when baby-led weaning surfaced in one of my conversations with my husband's cousin sometime last year.

To tell me that baby knows what to eat, how much to eat, and is capable of self-feeding finger foods upon starting solids and whatever the family eats once they get used to mealtimes is pretty revolutionary in all things baby, at least in my point of view.

So came days of online reading while waiting for Rapley and Murkett's bestselling Baby-Led Weaning book to arrive, and reading blogger moms' experiences on BLW versus traditional/conventional weaning became my routine for a week or so. I was so keen on BLW and looked forward to feeding Ayden avocados, bananas, potato wedges and the like. And good grief I  hope hope he grows to be an adventurous eater!

Ayden and hummus go very well together.
The moment our pediatrician said to start with solids (Ayden was a few days into his sixth month), we did not really go the BLW route. The first time Ay…

Happy Holidays.. sometime ago

Cog in the coffee machine checking in-- Feliz Ano!

A very good friend of mine apparently brought to my attention that my blog has not gone down the drain with my unpredictable and intermittent postings. Thank you, Miss A <3

It has been almost two weeks into the new year and... work has gotten pretty toxic. Poor husband has been listening to me vent since coming back to work, and more than anything I am determined to get my post-contract plans sorted out in case staying in the public sector just doesn't work out in the long run.

I took two weeks off towards the end of December after three months of work. Honestly, I'm not sure if I recuperated-- after knowing leave periods now are capped to two weeks maximum (because apparently leave is a privilege that should be enjoyed very little as it turned out, but interesting that some people were let off the hook so questioning the justice in that is only human and sensible?). Not to mention the abhorrent practice of answering work q…

Work, Pump, Repeat: A Mama on the Go

I love long weekends.

It's a much welcomed respite considering "leave is a privilege and not a right" but if it really is, then you can probably start asking why the general rule allows us 3.5 days off for every month of work.  (and to whom it may concern-- what are you doing here and why are you even reading this?).

This long weekend is all the more welcome considering that this is after two grueling weeks of being trampled over at work for multiple reasons: problematic personnel, frustrating administrative arrangements and ad hoc stuff that has pretty much defined my work (and husband's).

Today is also my son's half birthday, hehe. And a replacement public holiday in conjunction with the Prophet's birthday (PBUH).

Being a working pumping mom, I tend to struggle with finding a safe, comfortable space to pump. Which reminds me... I should share this story.

My first one was for a week-long workshop on GO and FR which was in October. Despite the fact that ther…

Mama bear at work

Hi, y'all.

For some personal reasons I had to keep my blog under the radar for an indefinite until a few things were resolved in my life before starting work.

(Also because my son is bad at napping at home during weekends so I cannot really blog properly hehehe)

It all began with a helper drama towards the end of my maternity leave.  Long story made short, I don't have a helper. Short story made long, my helper pretty much made me (and my husband indirectly) look like horrible and incompetent employers. Funny enough, she'd like to work with me again but that I should also understand her situation. What situation exactly? God knows. So many times I insisted on telling her to tell me if she has any concerns but she insisted she was fine. Then somehow came the part where she was hearing voices and right there I knew I had to let this one go. That part was the last straw; I was already stressed out dealing with adjusting to being a mother and having a place of my own and a hel…