I talked to a lot of mothers (my own mommy included of course) just to hear their pregnancy stories. Not surprisingly, pregnancy is just like individuals: it is different from one person to another. The common denominator? There is always bound to be some challenge.
A very good friend of mine experienced hyperemesis gravidarum in the first trimester which meant her sustenance came in the form of IV drip for a few days. An acquaintance talked about smooth sailing pregnancy with the occasional cravings. Others recall severe fatigue, food aversions and cravings.
At 31 weeks, I still struggle with coming to accept that the weight gain is supposed to happen. How could I not? In the past few months, I have gained almost 10 kgs and if I don’t watch what I eat, I will have to say goodbye to my weight allowance. I might even have to part with my pre-pregnancy outfits! That thought scares me. Despite this, my dearest husband thinks that for someone 31 weeks pregnant I look rather fit. Gotta thank that man for being such a massive motivation for me to keep active!
Ah, nice talk set aside, the image issue goes beyond just weight gain.
People’s remarks about body image knows absolutely no boundaries. Pregnancy is no exception.
The other day a friend started a WhatsApp conversation with me which consisted of a series of voice messages. It was the day Vivy Yusof was in town for the Royal dUCk launch and we were just talking about my participation which did not earn a win, much to my disappointment. The bigger disappointment of that day actually came in the form of me hearing about someone who told another person “you should see her (read: yours truly) now, her tummy is big”. I am not going to lie, the tone in my friend’s voice when she said "big" was one of concern, as if to tell me I am obese.
If you were me, that would be an automatic insult.
I was stunned. OK, I admit: at this point in time, shoulder presses with two 5kg dumbbells are hard. Core workouts are not doable any longer. And seeing friends go to spinning classes and suspended by the silks in aerial yoga makes me feel fat. It doesn’t help that I cannot do high intensity high impact workouts that kill the knees because my patellar tracking issue still hasn’t resolved.
So yes, when you take account of all those issues above, I am by all means big; 10kg gain in the past few months is quite a lot. That might also be a testament to my laziness and lack of initiative to go to physiotherapy (I have sought advice from five physiotherapists and one orthopedist) But here’s the thing: when you are pregnant, you will have to eat more (but eating for two is only a myth, y’all!), you will grow big inevitably and eventually, you will gain that weight.
What most people around me don’t know is that in spite of growing and gaining for a valid reason, I try my best to spend 30 minutes every Friday in the pool. With the exception of my third trimester and reserved parking spots for pregnant women fail due to absence of enforcement (lack thereof?), I make the effort to walk up to 5 minutes to get to office. I have graciously revoked style, prefering comfort throughout by opting for good walking shoes instead of cute flats or pumps to strut my ish.
And really, by the time baby is coming out earthside, I have achieved a feat of having carried up to 15 kgs of weight for many long weeks. And get this, that weight is not one I can simply put down or store on the rack.
The next time you see a pregnant lady or friend, don’t give her any more reason to feel less than incredible about her ability to sustain and nourish a life inside her. For all you know, she’s already got enough worries about growing a healthy person inside her, and has sacrificed looking her best to be comfortable and adapting to the physical changes in her body. She may not be going hard at the gym like the rest of the ladies are doing now, but rest assured there are no breaks for her when she has to move around and deal with work and everything else in that state.
Give her the grace to embrace and enjoy these months to adjust to this phase in her life, and the next few adjusting to a new chapter in her life as a mother. They are still work.
When can you say she’s big? There’s never a good time really, because it is just not nice thing to say about anyone at all.
A very good friend of mine experienced hyperemesis gravidarum in the first trimester which meant her sustenance came in the form of IV drip for a few days. An acquaintance talked about smooth sailing pregnancy with the occasional cravings. Others recall severe fatigue, food aversions and cravings.
At 31 weeks, I still struggle with coming to accept that the weight gain is supposed to happen. How could I not? In the past few months, I have gained almost 10 kgs and if I don’t watch what I eat, I will have to say goodbye to my weight allowance. I might even have to part with my pre-pregnancy outfits! That thought scares me. Despite this, my dearest husband thinks that for someone 31 weeks pregnant I look rather fit. Gotta thank that man for being such a massive motivation for me to keep active!
Ah, nice talk set aside, the image issue goes beyond just weight gain.
People’s remarks about body image knows absolutely no boundaries. Pregnancy is no exception.
The other day a friend started a WhatsApp conversation with me which consisted of a series of voice messages. It was the day Vivy Yusof was in town for the Royal dUCk launch and we were just talking about my participation which did not earn a win, much to my disappointment. The bigger disappointment of that day actually came in the form of me hearing about someone who told another person “you should see her (read: yours truly) now, her tummy is big”. I am not going to lie, the tone in my friend’s voice when she said "big" was one of concern, as if to tell me I am obese.
If you were me, that would be an automatic insult.
I was stunned. OK, I admit: at this point in time, shoulder presses with two 5kg dumbbells are hard. Core workouts are not doable any longer. And seeing friends go to spinning classes and suspended by the silks in aerial yoga makes me feel fat. It doesn’t help that I cannot do high intensity high impact workouts that kill the knees because my patellar tracking issue still hasn’t resolved.
So yes, when you take account of all those issues above, I am by all means big; 10kg gain in the past few months is quite a lot. That might also be a testament to my laziness and lack of initiative to go to physiotherapy (I have sought advice from five physiotherapists and one orthopedist) But here’s the thing: when you are pregnant, you will have to eat more (but eating for two is only a myth, y’all!), you will grow big inevitably and eventually, you will gain that weight.
What most people around me don’t know is that in spite of growing and gaining for a valid reason, I try my best to spend 30 minutes every Friday in the pool. With the exception of my third trimester and reserved parking spots for pregnant women fail due to absence of enforcement (lack thereof?), I make the effort to walk up to 5 minutes to get to office. I have graciously revoked style, prefering comfort throughout by opting for good walking shoes instead of cute flats or pumps to strut my ish.
And really, by the time baby is coming out earthside, I have achieved a feat of having carried up to 15 kgs of weight for many long weeks. And get this, that weight is not one I can simply put down or store on the rack.
The next time you see a pregnant lady or friend, don’t give her any more reason to feel less than incredible about her ability to sustain and nourish a life inside her. For all you know, she’s already got enough worries about growing a healthy person inside her, and has sacrificed looking her best to be comfortable and adapting to the physical changes in her body. She may not be going hard at the gym like the rest of the ladies are doing now, but rest assured there are no breaks for her when she has to move around and deal with work and everything else in that state.
Give her the grace to embrace and enjoy these months to adjust to this phase in her life, and the next few adjusting to a new chapter in her life as a mother. They are still work.
When can you say she’s big? There’s never a good time really, because it is just not nice thing to say about anyone at all.
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