This post was written sometime towards the end of my leave (end of August to early September) I don't know about you guys, but I have to say that my life pre-baby/pre-marriage was really a blast . For one, you don't simply ship a kampong girl to live in the United States for six years to study. I was born and raised in Brunei my entire life, then as it happened I was given the opportunity to be abroad.  Like everyone else, tertiary education period is a very formative time in my life that helped shape my principles and beliefs about life. Having graduated from University of Michigan - Ann Arbor and Georgetown University for graduate school, I took my endeavors at school seriously, because towards the end of graduate school I was at risk of failing my program entirely-- not even halfway into the first semester of grad school and already I wanted to purposely quit so I could go home. -_- Sometime before graduating from Georgetown I remember succumbing to the idea that perha...

Two weeks from today, I'd be tucked uneasily into my office chair, poring through what would be an endless pile of letters and invitations and papers. Of course, since September 8 would be a Friday, I am hoping it would be a breeze-- sports afternoon Friday woohoo!-- unless someone decides to pile up my work for me to attend to once I am back to work. That happened after I returned to work after my nikah leave by the way. And it was very, very unpleasant. Yup. Will be back to work... in two weeks. On a Friday. Not bad. Truth be told, I have never been good with babies. OK lah, children in general. I know myself to be a bit iffy with newborns and babies-- their crying bothers me and breaks my heart at times. Don't get me started with those who have started asking questions that you begin to scramble for answers in your head (only to find none of them is comprehensible to a growing mind), or the ones who are plain rowdy, hitting you randomly or ones who have tantrum problems....

My Ayden bear was born on Friday, 7 Ramadhan 1438 (corresponding to 2 June 2017), in case you couldn't be bothered to read my birth story :p I was at JPMC for two nights after his birth and everything was a whirlwind. Husband and I had been waiting for 9 months for him to arrive earthside and come 8:05am that day, everything revolved around baby. Literally everything . As it turned out, I bled a lot (according to the medical staff attending my birth) and had to be administered syntocinon to prevent more blood loss, to which few days/weeks later I found out it also helped speed afterbirth -_-   The next thing after skin to skin, I was asked to direct feed little bear. Nothing came out. I blamed syntocinon for messing up what my body was supposed to do by itself-- I couldn't nurse until the second day, and then dread filled me whole: baby had to be fed on formula. So ensued a hysterical mama bear for God knows how many times on little bear's birthday. My trooper ...

Woah. What has happened for the past two months? A few things: little one cooking in the oven to its divinely specified time for a few weeks, 24-hour labor, postpartum adjustments, baby blues (A LOT OF TEARS) and postnatal treatment. I've shared my birth story on Birthlings here -- feel free to have a read and do share your birth story here if you are willing to! I actually have a few things to write about postpartum days... when I do have the time I'll write about them. By the way, did you expect your little one/s to take up ALMOST all of your time in a day? I didn't. *sheepish smile*

Not sure if this post is coincidental with the third installment of my "Pregnancy Chronicles, but I have decided to dedicate the third "Pregnancy Chronicles" for my third trimester adventures. In a nutshell-ish manner, of course. 1) (More!) Physical Changes. Let's start with that ballooning body that literally everyone who sees you knows well you are SOOOO pregnant. Many close friends of ours know that husband and I decided to keep this first pregnancy on the down low until little one arrives earthside, as evidence shows (or doesn't show lol) on our social media at least. As much as I enjoy the shock factor this baby brings to so many people, there is no way I can hide this wherever I go, haha. My pet peeve? When people I/we don't even meet on a frequent/daily basis start asking /interrogating me/us about it... without any consideration to convey congratulatory wishes. "When are you due?" "How far along are you?" And this one...

Exercise was in fact one of the topics discussed at length in my birth class with Birthlings (@birthlings on Instagram) last February (yes kawan-kawan, that was me in the February AMANI Birth group). Imagine my feeling awkward when I raised my hand after my birth class instructor asked who exercises during pregnancy. Though I stood out awkwardly for that, I felt reassured knowing that I was doing the right thing for me and the little one Alhamdulillah.   Pregnancy is also a reminder that my patellofemoral syndrome has moved into its second year already :( haha. It's not pregnancy-induced, but rather brought on by the I-want-to-kick-ass-in-a-partner-workout mindset, which to this day my husband keeps reminding me every now and then haha. My prolonged recovery is not because I'm lazy to do inner thigh exercises, it's more of the fact that the bump has made it uncomfortable for me to assume other exercise positions, except for when I'm in water where I'm featherl...

I saw this on the paper some weeks ago: I found myself hysterical when I first saw this. I somehow stopped laughing and turned pensive when one of my seniors shared the same image in a Whatsapp group chat and said the illustration was done in poor taste. Then I asked myself: was I laughing at the "stark humor", not realizing the subtle sexism that I have sadly internalized over the years, or was I laughing at the sad irony of the reality? With the exception of a few progressive, practice-what-you-preach kind of men around us, men expect women to come home and do the household work. Cooking for the family--do you have any idea how difficult it is to decide on what to cook sometimes even? Cleaning the house-- let us be real ladies: piles of clean laundry in the basket still can appear dirty. Tending to the kids range from breastfeeding the baby to comforting the angry toddler and if you are a seasoned parent, this also means attending to the preschooler's...