Not sure if this post is coincidental with the third installment of my "Pregnancy Chronicles, but I have decided to dedicate the third "Pregnancy Chronicles" for my third trimester adventures.
In a nutshell-ish manner, of course.
1) (More!) Physical Changes.
Let's start with that ballooning body that literally everyone who sees you knows well you are SOOOO pregnant.
Many close friends of ours know that husband and I decided to keep this first pregnancy on the down low until little one arrives earthside, as evidence shows (or doesn't show lol) on our social media at least. As much as I enjoy the shock factor this baby brings to so many people, there is no way I can hide this wherever I go, haha. My pet peeve? When people I/we don't even meet on a frequent/daily basis start asking/interrogating me/us about it... without any consideration to convey congratulatory wishes.
"When are you due?"
"How far along are you?"
And this one is what has set me off this trimester: "your tummy look so small!"
(How big are women supposed to be in third trimester, seriously?)
Body dysmorphia doesn't go away even at this stage when your body is supposed to grow to make room for the little one. I hate stepping on the weight scale, I hate the numbers that show on the screen too. And I can recall my bouts of worry after seeing a drop of even a few hundred grams, because suddenly I start to doubt myself about being of "a normal size for a pregnant ladybear"... maybe people think I am unhealthy?
2) People.
Really people, the slew of questions, remarks about body size, and the unnecessary interrogation are not always taken as a package filled with well-wishes. Your congratulatory wishes are not implied in your curiosity. You can probably ask some of the ladies who are expecting, and you can bet many if not most would feel offended even the slightest at the lack of decency to wish her well. It's not because she is conceited and self-centered, but more of the fact that well-wishes more often than not are considered thoughtful.
3) Final Stretch of the Honeymoon Period.. sorta.
I'm writing this on a day off... after having slightly stronger contractions yesterday. Yesterday, I felt my tummy tighten and all I did was grin, talk to my husband through gritted teeth while my right hand held on his left arm tightly as my tummy became more intense. Though they were just practice contractions (*phew*), I am pretty much on the watch for anything funky in my sight or more regular funny sensations around my tummy. I also want to sleep so much these days, but my bathroom trips around 3am just makes it hard for me to go back to sleep, and I often end up waking my husband so he could lull me to sleep. I'm not sure who is the baby here really. And even if I don't fancy going out these days, I would try to muster the energy to be wide awake even at 10pm after watching a movie. Oh, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was SO good... sans my vomiting rounds because I think some restaurant's sambal penyet was too much for my tummy to take. Thank God my almost empty popcorn bucket came to the rescue!
4) Religion and Stuff.
What brought me the most consolation about keeping this pregnancy hushed is a post an acquaintance shared on her Facebook page regarding "Sunnah on Pregnancy". This will probably earn me some scoff and eyerolls for coming across as holier-than-thou, but please bear with me when I say I am doing this for good reasons that Allah knows best:
"There is a general principle which should be taken heed of when telling others about blessings. The news should be given only to those who wish good for you and will rejoice over it, so as to ward off the evil eye and destructive envy (hasad)." In one hadith narrated by At-Tabarani, the Prophet (pbuh) said: “Be discreet in order to achieve what you want, for everyone who is blessed is envied.”
Someone asked me if I would have a baby shower or a gender reveal cake and I was puzzled as to why she asked that. "Wouldn't that be fun?", to which I responded with this: "Not everyone is genuinely happy for you" in a tone that actually shocked two people when they heard it. You never know who harbors jealousy and envy... these things often manifest in subtle ways that you may just not realize it *sigh*
Please do not mistake my privacy stance as condescension for those who choose to tell the world about their upcoming bundle of joy! I love looking at maternity photographs! I really enjoy looking at glowing mommies-to-be and the creative themes people come up with. I love pregnancy announcements and friends sharing their ultrasound photos and videos. Plain and simple, it just is not for me.. you should see how awkward I look in my wedding photos and my husband was a damn pro with his poses. *roll eyes*
I do know people have gender reveal parties and baby showers, but I choose not to. I don't measure the authenticity of my friendship with people by the frequency and ability of the people to surprise me with life event parties. It is not important.
But I can already visualize at least one family member insisting on a mandi belawat at this point -_-
5) Birth Options/Choices
The only thing that I am willing to compromise in a hospital birth is the suturing in the event I sustained a tear post-birth. Other than that, I don't want further interventions. I feel strongly against an episiotomy-- this is an unnecessary procedure that has sadly become hospital routine-- and I choose to manage my pain naturally in sha Allah. If Maryam gave birth without all the stuff we have now, in sha Allah it should be adequate right?
Toodles!
In a nutshell-ish manner, of course.
1) (More!) Physical Changes.
Let's start with that ballooning body that literally everyone who sees you knows well you are SOOOO pregnant.
Many close friends of ours know that husband and I decided to keep this first pregnancy on the down low until little one arrives earthside, as evidence shows (or doesn't show lol) on our social media at least. As much as I enjoy the shock factor this baby brings to so many people, there is no way I can hide this wherever I go, haha. My pet peeve? When people I/we don't even meet on a frequent/daily basis start asking
"When are you due?"
"How far along are you?"
And this one is what has set me off this trimester: "your tummy look so small!"
(How big are women supposed to be in third trimester, seriously?)
Body dysmorphia doesn't go away even at this stage when your body is supposed to grow to make room for the little one. I hate stepping on the weight scale, I hate the numbers that show on the screen too. And I can recall my bouts of worry after seeing a drop of even a few hundred grams, because suddenly I start to doubt myself about being of "a normal size for a pregnant lady
2) People.
Really people, the slew of questions, remarks about body size, and the unnecessary interrogation are not always taken as a package filled with well-wishes. Your congratulatory wishes are not implied in your curiosity. You can probably ask some of the ladies who are expecting, and you can bet many if not most would feel offended even the slightest at the lack of decency to wish her well. It's not because she is conceited and self-centered, but more of the fact that well-wishes more often than not are considered thoughtful.
3) Final Stretch of the Honeymoon Period.. sorta.
I'm writing this on a day off... after having slightly stronger contractions yesterday. Yesterday, I felt my tummy tighten and all I did was grin, talk to my husband through gritted teeth while my right hand held on his left arm tightly as my tummy became more intense. Though they were just practice contractions (*phew*), I am pretty much on the watch for anything funky in my sight or more regular funny sensations around my tummy. I also want to sleep so much these days, but my bathroom trips around 3am just makes it hard for me to go back to sleep, and I often end up waking my husband so he could lull me to sleep. I'm not sure who is the baby here really. And even if I don't fancy going out these days, I would try to muster the energy to be wide awake even at 10pm after watching a movie. Oh, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was SO good... sans my vomiting rounds because I think some restaurant's sambal penyet was too much for my tummy to take. Thank God my almost empty popcorn bucket came to the rescue!
4) Religion and Stuff.
What brought me the most consolation about keeping this pregnancy hushed is a post an acquaintance shared on her Facebook page regarding "Sunnah on Pregnancy". This will probably earn me some scoff and eyerolls for coming across as holier-than-thou, but please bear with me when I say I am doing this for good reasons that Allah knows best:
"There is a general principle which should be taken heed of when telling others about blessings. The news should be given only to those who wish good for you and will rejoice over it, so as to ward off the evil eye and destructive envy (hasad)." In one hadith narrated by At-Tabarani, the Prophet (pbuh) said: “Be discreet in order to achieve what you want, for everyone who is blessed is envied.”
Someone asked me if I would have a baby shower or a gender reveal cake and I was puzzled as to why she asked that. "Wouldn't that be fun?", to which I responded with this: "Not everyone is genuinely happy for you" in a tone that actually shocked two people when they heard it. You never know who harbors jealousy and envy... these things often manifest in subtle ways that you may just not realize it *sigh*
Please do not mistake my privacy stance as condescension for those who choose to tell the world about their upcoming bundle of joy! I love looking at maternity photographs! I really enjoy looking at glowing mommies-to-be and the creative themes people come up with. I love pregnancy announcements and friends sharing their ultrasound photos and videos. Plain and simple, it just is not for me.. you should see how awkward I look in my wedding photos and my husband was a damn pro with his poses. *roll eyes*
I do know people have gender reveal parties and baby showers, but I choose not to. I don't measure the authenticity of my friendship with people by the frequency and ability of the people to surprise me with life event parties. It is not important.
But I can already visualize at least one family member insisting on a mandi belawat at this point -_-
5) Birth Options/Choices
The only thing that I am willing to compromise in a hospital birth is the suturing in the event I sustained a tear post-birth. Other than that, I don't want further interventions. I feel strongly against an episiotomy-- this is an unnecessary procedure that has sadly become hospital routine-- and I choose to manage my pain naturally in sha Allah. If Maryam gave birth without all the stuff we have now, in sha Allah it should be adequate right?
Toodles!
Comments
Post a Comment