I was away for four days for work travel for the very first time as a mom last January.. and here I am finally having the luxury of time to blog about it.
In March #momlife
Need I say this was my first work travel after... two years of being in Track I?
9 months postpartum and we still don't have a helper at home. Imagine when my husband gave me the blessing to travel for work towards the end of last year-- I was pretty much shocked to the core. How can this man possibly let me off to travel for work when taking care of a baby takes almost all of your time? He reassured me that he could do it and he was fine.
To say it was difficult is an understatement indeed.
The whole four days apart were filled with so much tears. Mine, our son's... There's no doubt that ugly tears were shed from an already sleep-deprived, ugly face. Yours truly shall confess to crying as the plane was about to take off, and pretty much almost every night before going to sleep #separationanxiety #booboclock
Some may think that work trip is a much welcomed respite from the routine of motherhood and being a wife, but I gotta say, there's never a break for a mother, what more a civil servant. First, there was the inability to pump regularly due to the schedule set for us, compounded by the exhaustion towards the end of every day. Visits, talks, networking-- they're part and parcel of this job. And please forget about sleep because the longest uninterrupted sleep I got was for six hours tops before I woke up frantically searching for my trusty Spectra pump. There was one point where my husband called me on FaceTime with our baby crying in the middle of the night. My already bruised and aching heart broke into pieces seeing the struggle . The crying slowly dissipated when I started comforting him with my usual shushing and consoling.
And while I had the opportunity to bring a caregiver (a relative, bless her) and my son along for the trip, I have to say this job and field make that virtually impossible. I know some people who are in civil service who have done so successfully, but the fact of the matter is that my job just doesn't provide me with the privilege of doing so. Words have a way of traveling back home with you bearing the brunt of it eventually. Whether that's just being #kepoh or doing the right thing, doesn't it beget the question of priorities?
Like, are you more accountable to your role as a mother/wife or as a civil servant?
I suppose this question is to be answered in a separate entry, eh?
I'm all for breastfeeding and after a very traumatic episode of not being able to nurse my son after he was born last year, I had to resort to formula. I vowed not to go that route after supply was established... only to break that vow into smithereens. We ran out of our stash towards the day I had to return home. It was either soliciting for donated milk, or formula all over again.
Sure enough... we went the formula route again. It was awful... but for the sake of our son, we decided to accept that fact.
Did I feel like a bad mother? Absolutely. Did I feel like a failure? Without a doubt. Did I feel like I've betrayed myself? Sure.
But I did what was best for that circumstance at that time. I remember reading this quote somewhere, but for the life of me I cannot remember where I got it from:
"Fed is a requirement. Breast is the biological norm. Informed is best."
So cut that mama shaming thing-- you as a parent know your kid better!
Alhamdulillah almost 10 months in and the biological norm still applies for me (and the little bear, of course!)
*
I have to share what I brought along to make the work travel bearable (LOL):
1) My son's bolster as a little something to remember him by.
2) Medela's quick steam steriliser bag!
This was a lifesaver. Not only did I save luggage space, but also save my luggae weight! I purchased one from @lovera.eshop for about $8.90 EACH, after multiple attempts of trying to purchase some from eBay, only to be denied because many of the sellers don't ship to Brunei. Then I went to Mothercare Singapore, and they sold a pack of 5 for... less than $20. Poor financial decision aside, this quick steam bag can be used for 20 times-- just make sure to check the box behind the plastic after each use! There is a spout on the right side (of the photo) where you can dispose of the used water inside the package. The left side is for you to grip the package to tip the water over.
Usage is with a microwave on high for a few seconds, but in my case I just poured boiling water in and wait a few minutes. Still does the job, bless.
3) Sarah Wells' Pumparoo.
OK so this may not be from a personal photo collection but point being that I brought this along to store my pump flanges and bottles. I purchased mine from @bnpieces at @ohanacrib for $35 and I believe everyone should have at least one! The Pumparoo is similar to Skiphop's wet/dry bag if anyone is wondering. There's a staging mat for you to assemble and take down pump parts, the zipper compartment to store the unused stuff-- in my case it fit two 5oz Spectra bottles and a pair of flanges and a few storage bags. This bag is also suitable for storing wet clothes once you're done with the nursing part, too! But if you are particular about keeping things used for specific purposes, there is absolutely no harm in purchasing another one.
Or a few.
You'll find out below.
4) A huge-ass multi-functional diaper bag and 5) A Fridge-to-Go!
I'm that person who would love to but can never travel light. I also carry plenty of stuff, in some cases things I don't really need but think I do. When I was pregnant, my husband and I had a hard time finding a nice diaper bag... until he came across Rachel Zoe's collab collection with Quinny. We loved it!
So that was my birthday gift... and to him it did qualify for a push gift. Um, no. HEHE
The bag has some leather trim details (the brown parts of the bag) and a lot of compårtments. It also comes with a changing mat, a separate insulated cooler bag and a bag you can use to store soiled clothes with. The downside of the bag? The canvas is white so be prepared to work carefully when you want to clean the bag with a stain remover.
The best part for me about this bag? I haven't seen it around town yet *grin*
The Fridge-to-Go is the small black and gray bag in front of my diaper bag. I purchased mine from Mothercare Singapore for $55, and the ice panel inside can keep things cool for 6 hours. Proven. I used it to transport my frozen EBMs. Admittedly my EBMs was about 10-20 percent thawed when I got back to Brunei at around 2:30pm, but my baby was fine even after he consumed them at daycare after I re-froze them at home. I know this goes against convention, but for this one, follow your gut, mama!
God knows how badly I wanted to go home and see my boys again after that work trip. I suppose this whole thing may have been largely due to the fact that I didn't prepare myself ahead of time for the trip, but ask any mama who had to be away from their babies even within the country and you'd find most if not all of them say their babies' absence can be felt. So regardless of the destination, Singapore or London or Tokyo, I can understand the feeling of missing your little ones more than you do usually. We all gotta give the mamas in uniform who work round-the-clock a hell lot of credit! Police, military, medical professionals and staff...
Yes, I have two Pumparoos for now.
All was well with my world again when I reunited with these two. Four days in Kuala Lumpur was too long.
Check out my husband's wide smile after spotting the surprise on his seat!
How did you deal with being away from your little ones when work/duty calls?
In March #momlife
Need I say this was my first work travel after... two years of being in Track I?
9 months postpartum and we still don't have a helper at home. Imagine when my husband gave me the blessing to travel for work towards the end of last year-- I was pretty much shocked to the core. How can this man possibly let me off to travel for work when taking care of a baby takes almost all of your time? He reassured me that he could do it and he was fine.
To say it was difficult is an understatement indeed.
The whole four days apart were filled with so much tears. Mine, our son's... There's no doubt that ugly tears were shed from an already sleep-deprived, ugly face. Yours truly shall confess to crying as the plane was about to take off, and pretty much almost every night before going to sleep #separationanxiety #booboclock
Some may think that work trip is a much welcomed respite from the routine of motherhood and being a wife, but I gotta say, there's never a break for a mother, what more a civil servant. First, there was the inability to pump regularly due to the schedule set for us, compounded by the exhaustion towards the end of every day. Visits, talks, networking-- they're part and parcel of this job. And please forget about sleep because the longest uninterrupted sleep I got was for six hours tops before I woke up frantically searching for my trusty Spectra pump. There was one point where my husband called me on FaceTime with our baby crying in the middle of the night. My already bruised and aching heart broke into pieces seeing the struggle . The crying slowly dissipated when I started comforting him with my usual shushing and consoling.
And while I had the opportunity to bring a caregiver (a relative, bless her) and my son along for the trip, I have to say this job and field make that virtually impossible. I know some people who are in civil service who have done so successfully, but the fact of the matter is that my job just doesn't provide me with the privilege of doing so. Words have a way of traveling back home with you bearing the brunt of it eventually. Whether that's just being #kepoh or doing the right thing, doesn't it beget the question of priorities?
Like, are you more accountable to your role as a mother/wife or as a civil servant?
I suppose this question is to be answered in a separate entry, eh?
I'm all for breastfeeding and after a very traumatic episode of not being able to nurse my son after he was born last year, I had to resort to formula. I vowed not to go that route after supply was established... only to break that vow into smithereens. We ran out of our stash towards the day I had to return home. It was either soliciting for donated milk, or formula all over again.
Sure enough... we went the formula route again. It was awful... but for the sake of our son, we decided to accept that fact.
Did I feel like a bad mother? Absolutely. Did I feel like a failure? Without a doubt. Did I feel like I've betrayed myself? Sure.
But I did what was best for that circumstance at that time. I remember reading this quote somewhere, but for the life of me I cannot remember where I got it from:
"Fed is a requirement. Breast is the biological norm. Informed is best."
So cut that mama shaming thing-- you as a parent know your kid better!
Alhamdulillah almost 10 months in and the biological norm still applies for me (and the little bear, of course!)
*
I have to share what I brought along to make the work travel bearable (LOL):
1) My son's bolster as a little something to remember him by.
Here's Ayden just a few days old. *sniff* that newborn scent...
but anyway point being that there's the bolster on the left.
but anyway point being that there's the bolster on the left.
2) Medela's quick steam steriliser bag!
This was a lifesaver. Not only did I save luggage space, but also save my luggae weight! I purchased one from @lovera.eshop for about $8.90 EACH, after multiple attempts of trying to purchase some from eBay, only to be denied because many of the sellers don't ship to Brunei. Then I went to Mothercare Singapore, and they sold a pack of 5 for... less than $20. Poor financial decision aside, this quick steam bag can be used for 20 times-- just make sure to check the box behind the plastic after each use! There is a spout on the right side (of the photo) where you can dispose of the used water inside the package. The left side is for you to grip the package to tip the water over.
Usage is with a microwave on high for a few seconds, but in my case I just poured boiling water in and wait a few minutes. Still does the job, bless.
3) Sarah Wells' Pumparoo.
Or a few.
You'll find out below.
4) A huge-ass multi-functional diaper bag and 5) A Fridge-to-Go!
My son has an amusing fascination with my ID lanyard.
So that was my birthday gift... and to him it did qualify for a push gift. Um, no. HEHE
The bag has some leather trim details (the brown parts of the bag) and a lot of compårtments. It also comes with a changing mat, a separate insulated cooler bag and a bag you can use to store soiled clothes with. The downside of the bag? The canvas is white so be prepared to work carefully when you want to clean the bag with a stain remover.
The best part for me about this bag? I haven't seen it around town yet *grin*
The Fridge-to-Go is the small black and gray bag in front of my diaper bag. I purchased mine from Mothercare Singapore for $55, and the ice panel inside can keep things cool for 6 hours. Proven. I used it to transport my frozen EBMs. Admittedly my EBMs was about 10-20 percent thawed when I got back to Brunei at around 2:30pm, but my baby was fine even after he consumed them at daycare after I re-froze them at home. I know this goes against convention, but for this one, follow your gut, mama!
God knows how badly I wanted to go home and see my boys again after that work trip. I suppose this whole thing may have been largely due to the fact that I didn't prepare myself ahead of time for the trip, but ask any mama who had to be away from their babies even within the country and you'd find most if not all of them say their babies' absence can be felt. So regardless of the destination, Singapore or London or Tokyo, I can understand the feeling of missing your little ones more than you do usually. We all gotta give the mamas in uniform who work round-the-clock a hell lot of credit! Police, military, medical professionals and staff...
Yes, I have two Pumparoos for now.
All was well with my world again when I reunited with these two. Four days in Kuala Lumpur was too long.
Check out my husband's wide smile after spotting the surprise on his seat!
And of course, the little bear was extra clingy for a few days after.
How did you deal with being away from your little ones when work/duty calls?
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