I was away for four days for work travel for the very first time as a mom last January.. and here I am finally having the luxury of time to blog about it. In March #momlife Need I say this was my first work travel after... two years of being in Track I? 9 months postpartum and we still don't have a helper at home. Imagine when my husband gave me the blessing to travel for work towards the end of last year-- I was pretty much shocked to the core. How can this man possibly let me off to travel for work when taking care of a baby takes almost all of your time? He reassured me that he could do it and he was fine. To say it was difficult is an understatement indeed. The whole four days apart were filled with so much tears. Mine, our son's...  There's no doubt that ugly tears were shed from an already sleep-deprived, ugly face. Yours truly shall confess to crying as the plane was about to take off, and pretty much almost every night before going to sleep #separationanxi...

Contrary to what everyone else sees or would like to believe, I have a well-functioning conscience. Today, it is cloaked in guilt and unease, marred by the knowledge that I have the convenience of being close to work yet I still stumble over several challenges in balancing motherhood and a career. I'm not offering excuses or doing the whole woe-is-me nonsense. I'm not venting about how my life is worse than yours or anyone else's. I am just writing to voice out the frustration I've accumulated these past few months... ones that I have never really articulated so well, save for snippets of angst over silly Instastories which some have found humor in.. phew. First of all, I am a full-time working mother in an organisation that prides itself on being the nation's defenders... or something along those lines. Occasionally, this job demands me to work over the weekends, monitoring the world's happenings... which by the way doesn't get clocked in. Let's not...